General Edit

If you're unlucky, a party member may become infected by a disease immediately at the start of a major zone. This will cause them to drop to one health - they will heal up 3 hearts a few scenes later, provided they did not expire during that time. Some diseases they can catch are:

  • Space Rabies
  • Typhoid
  • Green Fever
  • Purple Fever
  • Influenza
  • Syphilis
  • Gangrene
  • Spattergoit
  • Food Poisoning
  • Whooping Cough
  • Malaria

Your Oxen may also have some different status effects:

  • Strange Smelling Shrubs - Oxen get confused (reverse controls)
  • Fed good grass - Oxen run faster
  • Catch measles - Oxen walk slower
  • Catch Spattergoit - Oxen will walk slower
  • Mountain Fever - Oxen will walk slower

There are times where your party will stop to have a campfire, eat some form of food, or talk / reminisce - this can happen in any zone and will heal up multiple hearts. Some examples:

  • Marmot Sliders
  • Squirrel Kabob
  • Squirrel Biscuits
  • Rabbit Stew
  • Pigeon Pie

Fur Trader Edit

A fur trader may be present in various areas which gives the option to trade furs collected throughout the game:

  • The trader may offer a single trade into a faster, more mobile wagon, or a new default weapon. They may also upgrade the current default weapon with a larger caliber or with a double barrel
  • The trader may also offer a menu of health, or various limited ammo weapon upgrades (such as the laser or shotgun)

Sometimes the game will ovterride your choices at the two rivers.

Your party members are railroaded into doing scenes unless it presents you with a choice during the flavor text.

yeah boi!!!

Beware the woman in the red dress. At times she will either pull a gun out and proceed to shoot you where after killing her, a bandit ambush ensues, where bandits ride horses from either side of the screen and shoot at you. If you accidentally shoot her when she is not a bandit, then later on in the game her "spirit" will haunt you during a scene. This makes it incredibly difficult as the "ghost" sprites can not be killed and usually end up hurting a member.

If you are lucky enough not to shoot her and she is not a bandit, then she will just say she did not need any help and you will proceed forward.

The Forest Edit

The Forest is the zone that all adventures start out on. This usually opens up with the player hunting various animals in the forest in order to obtain food, with the only real threat being skunks.

A Large Group of Squirrels Edit

There is a small chance of a large group of squirrels appearing, giving an opportunity to harvest more hides.

Bandit Ambush Edit

The most common event that follows is a bandit ambush during the hunting session. After a couple groups of bandits, either a machine gun armed bandit cart mini-boss will appear or, on occasion, a another wave of bandits armed with Automatic Rifles that shoot directly at your wagon.

  • There's a small chance that you may end up in the caves while fighting the bandits. It has giant spiders, possibly giant bats, and health in it. If you do get this cave, the flavor text for the cave after the berries will humorously reflect that the new cave will be better.
  • There's also a small chance that the boss encounter will run through a large nest of skunks, complicating the encounter
  • The bandits may have their aim improve and target you and a second part of this sequence

Unicorn Edit

Occasionally a unicorn will appear instead of the bandits. You will have a choice of shooting or following the unicorn. If you shoot the unicorn, you will simply gain an animal pelt and move on to the bandits, but if you follow the unicorn, you will be led into the Magic Field.

Search for Food Edit

After this, a random party member goes out to search for food. The character will either pick berries or mushrooms. You may also encounter a rainbow after these events, which is considered a sign of good things to come to the party member.

  • Berries - If they find berries, either you find a cave on the way back to the cart which may contain enemies, weapons, or nothing at all, or a bear will want the berries and attack. When killed, it will let out one last cry of help and either a family of bears or a swarm of rabid squirrels will attack the party member.
  • Mushrooms - If they find mushrooms, they eat one on the way back to the cart and begin hallucinating. They will be forced to fight their inner demons and bad memories in two separate scenes
  • The Cave- After you pick berries you may find a cave and you go to investigate.You will find Giant bats Giant spiders guns and ammunition or it empty.I have found a simple cheat instead of going through the front go behind it and go in in the back and you automatically get guns and ammunition.

The party member may simply run back to the wagon after the picking event.

The River Edit

After making it through the forest, there will be a river that must be crossed. You are given the option of either fording the river, or as one of your party members proposes, jumping over the river.

  • Sawa-pirateship

    The pirate ship attacks

    Fording - Fording requires you to dodge boulders as you cross. There will be up to three sessions of boulder dodging. A pirate ship mini-boss may also block your crossing. It takes 3 rockets to kill.
    • It will sometimes hit you on the final crossing screen with a line of boulders. "Stupid boulders"
  • Jumping - Jumping can have a few more outcomes
    • Land you across the river safely
    • It can pull you into space (See Low Earth Orbit)
    • Land you safely, but anger a bees nest
    • Land on the other side with a thud, and startle a bear. Killing the bear will either summon angry squirrels or the bear's extended family.
    • Or you may just end up landing in the center of the river, dodging one screen of boulders

Great Plains Edit

Upon entering the plains, you immediately run into a large herd of buffalo.  This will always occur, regardless of the situation.  

  • If the buffalo are upside-down, it begins the Glitch Event, leading to the Glitch Wagon

The Fur trader is present in this area, and usually appears after a few scenes.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Edit

You may immediately encounter more buffalo, after dealing with the previous buffalo event

Absurd Amounts of Buffalo Edit

Three guesses what this is... the buffalo approach you very slowly, so this is actually an excellent way to collect more hides, especially if you happen to have the falcon or a good AOE weapon like the diseased pistol.

Sped Up Buffalo Edit

There's a chance to have your party be bored by all of the buffalo, so they decide to speed things up.

Angry Buffalo Edit

After the other buffalo events, the buffalo may become angry and charge at your wagon, 4 in a line at a time. Move up/down while shooting to clear the way by hitting them as they appear.

Prairie Fire Edit

A prairie fire may occur as a result of shooting buffalo. This will initially have you dodge fires, with a second scene being much the same, but sped up. There is a small chance that there will be a scene resulting in flaming buffalo charging at your wagon.

Zombies Edit

If you've lost two party members, your remaining member may stop to reflect about their deaths. A single zombie will appear, followed by a horde of walker-type zombies, which is then followed by walker and animal zombies. The animal zombies will often be bears but will sometimes be faster moving animals if you're unlucky.

  • This event may also trigger if one of your party members notices a funny smell

Antique Pistol (Diseased Pistol) Edit

One of your party members will notice a strange smell and come across a scene with green bodies strewn about. They will pick up an Antique Pistol and be attacked by diseased monkeys. if they survive that, and the party survives the subsequent drop to 1 health, as well as the next scene with faster monkeys, they will have a scene to test out the Diseased Pistol and it will become your new default weapon. Your party will regain full health after this event, as well as be immune to the pistol's poison clouds.

The Buffalo were Still Angry Edit

This can be lead into by either a member of the party leaving camp to relieve themselves, or by your lone party member reflecting about the deaths of your ex-party members. After a moment, a few waves of 4 buffalo will charge at you from either side.

Front Wheels Fall Off Edit

The front wheels of the wagon fall off and you will have to fetch them from one of the following scenes:

  • Bandit Camp
  • Coyote Den
  • Haunted Burial Site
  • A Herd of Buffalo
  • Note - this quest will reset if your party member dies.

An Axle Broke Edit

One of your party members will need to walk for 3 scenes to get to a trading post to get a new axle (0 hide cost). They will have to walk back as well, with coyotes hounding you both ways.

  • You may encounter a group of sleeping travelers whom you can steal supplies from. If you do, you will be haunted by their ghosts on the way back.

Civil War Edit

Your party will stumble upon the Civil War, passing by Union troops firing forward but eventually seeing Confederate troops firing towards you during the latter half of this event.

Woman in the Red Dress Edit

There will be a woman standing there, waiting for you to approach.

  • Most of the time, she will shoot you when you approach. If you shoot without moving, the game remonstrates you for being a murderer
  • Every now and then, she is just a friendly bystander

Romance Edit

A party member may want to confess their love to another by finding a flower and giving it to them. They will "relax" and recover a random amount of health. This may trigger More Angry Buffalo or Zombies

Tornado Edit

A tornado will appear and pick up the wagon. The tornado will also pick up buffalo and fling them at your party with great speed. There is also a chance that it will pick up the flaming buffalo from the Prairie Fire event.

The Robbery Edit

You will be presented with an option to investigate some shooting heard in the distance. It will either result in the Bank Robbery or the Train Robbery:

Train Robbery Edit

  • Investigating begins this difficult set of scenes - the first will be bandits shooting at you from the top of a train (vulnerable, but only if you can aim up at them with something like the Magic Wand). The second scene will introduce bandits shooting at you from the front, along with the train bandits. The third scene will be the mini-boss, mini-gun, bandit from The Forest, in addition to the train bandits. Completing this event successfully will unlock the Coal-Fired Wagon. If you've already unlocked the wagon, you get 100 hides as a reward.

Bank Robbery Edit

  • The Bank Robbery will challenge one party member to shoot the robbers (people with pistols) and spare the civilians as they all rush out of the Bank. You will definitely want to avoid this if you have an inaccurate or AOE weapon. Shooting any civilian means imprisonment for the party member involved, whereas success will net you 100 hides.

Injured Falcon Edit

One of your party members will notice an injured falcon by the side of the road and attempt to assist it. Coyotes will attack. If you survive, there will be a scene to test the falcon out and it will replace your default weapon. This unlocks the Wild Wagon if you have not done so, already.

Another River Edit

At this point, you will need to choose whether to swim Underwater, or go around the river into The Desert. Sometimes the your decision will be overridden because the party forgot what it chose to do.

Underwater Edit


Should you choose to swim, you will go underwater and will be attacked by piranhas.

  • Your oxen may freak out and swim faster
  • Jellyfish and Narwhals may also attack you.
  • Sometimes, there will even be "Water Buffalo"
  • Occasionally, you will face off against a giant squid. A treasure chest (which you can choose to open or leave alone) will contain a default weapon like ninja stars or a falcon.

The Island Edit

You may also go onto an island to catch your breath, and you will find supplies

  • You will then be attacked by crabs or Pelicans. Crabs move horizontally, from either side and some will chase you after they reach the edge of the screen. Pelicans will come in a huge wave from one side.
  • Alternatively, you may find dinosaur eggs on the island, which will summon a baby Pterosaur that will fly in a direction after an egg is thrown and damage enemies. You will then be attacked by Stegosaurus, and if you kill them without dying, you unlock 'The Ancient' wagon along with the dinosaur eggs.

The Desert Edit

Possibly one of the hardest areas of the game, the Desert is a risk reward zone for the player. The Fur trader is present in this area, and usually appears after a few scenes.

Gambler Edit

If your party is full, you may find a gambler, who will bet you all your hides if you can kill 25 birds in 20 seconds or 30 birds in 25 seconds.

Guide Edit

A guide may join you for a number of hides, if you're missing a party member.

Snakes, Scorpions, and Vultures Edit

Venomous snakes that wiggle up and down on the screen will come at you in the first scene. Additionally, either vultures or scorpions may be added in a further two scenes, compounding with the snakes and sometimes resulting in all 3 enemies attacking you at once. Snakes move up and down while they move towards your wagon. The scorpions will target your wagon like wolves, and chase for a little bit, whereas the vultures will beeline towards your wagon but not chase.

  • The party may fear running out of water, which will make the wagon go faster

Supplies in the Sand Edit

One of your party will notice that there are 3 pickups in the sand.

  • It may turn into quicksand. They will need to defend themselves against scorpions after they get stuck.
  • Giant ants may start attacking. They attack in two straight lines from the left and right

Pyramid Edit

One of your party members will notice a Pyramid and explore it. They will notice hieroglyphics and the be attacked by aliens (this unlocks the Alien Wagon).

Ancient Ruin Edit

One of your party members will want to explore the Ancient Ruin. When they explore it, you will encounter Undead Mummies, Spitting Cobras, or just 3 x weapon with no enemies. The party member will leave, afterwards, with no other reward.

Sometimes after when you would have moved to the Mountain pass, the party could get lost and go back to the start of the desert, causing you to go through it again. This can happen multiple times in a single run.

Mountain Pass Edit

Comes after ocean and desert. It's the third area which has easily hunted animals, like the forest. However, wolves will come after the player has hunted for a bit. Wolves are one of the most dangerous creatures in the game, being fast and infinitely homing on the party's wagon - you either kill a wolf, or it will hit you, barring a scene change.

Need to Kill Edit

You may need to hunt a minimum of 40 animals (40 kills, not necessarily collection). Wolves will come during a second scene in this sequence.

  • If you fail to kill 40, you may choose to eat a party member if more than one person survived
  • If you choose to starve, all party members will lie in the snow and wish for death. Starvation is fatal.

Stop for a Drink Edit

Your party may choose to stop for a warm drink due to the cold. This will lead to a party member getting drunk

  • They may be attacked by Rabid Squirrels
  • They can also wander into a camp filled with bandits. After killing the bandits, a scene will follow where bandits attack you similarly to the forest with the only difference being that your party is drunk making the wagon harder to move and move around slightly on it's own.

A Snow Storm Occurs Edit

The wolves are relentless and will attack during the storm.

  • A dark figure may appear and one of your party members will investigate - a new party member will join if you have less than a full party

An Avalanche Started Edit

Rocks will begin to fall from the sky, all at the same angle.

  • It may get worse, which increases the rock frequency and speed
  • Wolves may attack during the avalanche

Debris Edit

Some various sized vertical obstacles will come at you from the right side, which you must avoid.

  • May occur after or during the Avalanche or Volcano scenes
  • May trigger a second avalanche scene, with debris included

Volcano Edit

May have a few different effects:

  • May create a lava flow which will take up about the back 1/3 of the screen, causing you to stay closer to the right
    2015-01-12 00011

    Lava flow with intensified bombing

    • This can have a secondary Animals also panic scene, where you can pick up a few more hides
    • This can cause burning wolves to rush out from the lava towards the wagon
    • The lava may come closer, consuming 2/3 of the screen
    • If you have the air strike weapon, you can destroy the lava flow for that scene
  • Volcano bombs can also come down during this event - they're similar to the avalanche except they go top left to down right, and explode
    • The above volcano events may happen simultaneously
    • The bombing may intensify
    • Llamas may appear to absorb bomb damage. They tend to actually do more damage to your party

There were a lot of Llamas Edit

Many llamas will be available for you to hunt. The llamas will run like in the default hunting scene.

  • A second event may begin where Lamas have a chance of getting enraged and spit at the player from stationary positions

There is a chance the player will find a sword and have a sword fight with ninjas. If the player can manage to master the sword and defeat the ninjas, the player will either get to keep the sword or get the ninja stars, as well as unlock The Eastern.


A Dark Figure Edit

A dark figure may appear which will result in an encounter with Bigfoot. He will chase you around while firing ice shards out in a spiral.

No matter what happens to the player, they will end up falling off a cliff.

Cliff Edit

2015-01-12 00018

Crows... why did it have to be crows

After the mountain, the player will fall off a cliff. Eagles, crows, or buffalo may appear

  • Eagles attacking the player, they will fly directly at the player, they can appear at any angle.
  • Crows will attack the player. These only appear from the sides, so stay in the middle and move up or down.
  • Buffalo chasing after the player off a cliff to avenge their dead brothers. The buffalo only come from above, and are the easiest to dodge.

There is a rare chance after this sequence that the player will be sucked into a vortex and enter Modern day.

Final River Edit

After falling down the cliff, the party lands in the middle of a river Where they will need to avoid hitting boulders

  • You will encounter sharks, bears, or crocodiles. Sharks move up and down in a regular fashion, whereas crocodiles will sit and wait to bite you. Bears are the easiest in that they only advance slowly towards you. Yoou need to avoid the animals and the boulders at the same time.
  • Bandits will appear in water wagons and fire 3 shot bursts at you. The bandit boss comes at you afterwards
  • Boulders are able to be destroyed

Paddleboat Bandits


The final boss has multiple attack phases and will initially shoot aimed shots at you while it moves up and down. The flamethrower devastates this boss nearly instantly if you can afford to tank a few hits.

Epilogue Edit

Squid 2 the Squiddening

You will be on a beach, enjoying the sunset. This is the last opportunity to collect some hides.

  • If you had faced down the Squid earlier in the adventure, be prepared to fight it again!